vet01 asked:
I am boyfriend and I are pregnant. He is moving the end of this month to Miami, FL, because he took an amazing job at a great hospital ( he is a doctor). At the end of the month, I am moving back to Atlanta, Georgia to finish my Doctorate. We do not know how to make it work with a baby on the way. I will not be finished with school for another 4 years ( the school I am going to is the best in its field) and he cannot move due to his opportunity and extremley high income. Should I put school to the side, move down and be a homemaker and mother? Or should we both fly every few weeks to see each other? How hard will it be for a child to not see its father often?
I am boyfriend and I are pregnant. He is moving the end of this month to Miami, FL, because he took an amazing job at a great hospital ( he is a doctor). At the end of the month, I am moving back to Atlanta, Georgia to finish my Doctorate. We do not know how to make it work with a baby on the way. I will not be finished with school for another 4 years ( the school I am going to is the best in its field) and he cannot move due to his opportunity and extremley high income. Should I put school to the side, move down and be a homemaker and mother? Or should we both fly every few weeks to see each other? How hard will it be for a child to not see its father often?
Long distance relationships are hard, but they can work out if you both want it to. Ultimately YOU have to decide about your career, but keep in mind a baby is going to take a lot of your time and may delay your education. The both of you have to decide about what is best for the baby. Good Luck!
My biggest concern about the situation would be that the two of you may grow apart in four years.
A child in a situation where there is a generic custody arrangement only sees his absent parent one day a week and every other weekend. According to the state this arrangement doesn’t damage the child in anyway, so if you’re making sure that your child sees it’s father more often than that you should be fine. Children don’t develop long term memories until they’re 4 years old anyway. The loving home that you provide for your child to the best of your and his ability is all that matters early on.
Take lots of pictures while you’re all together and hang them in your child’s room so that when his father isn’t there he can still see him.
Another concern I would have is just how difficult it is to care for a child (especially by yourself) and attend school. You may be better off waiting until after the baby’s born to determine whether or not you can meet the baby’s demands while you’re in school. The bonus of this is that you can spend time early in the baby’s life with the father. Helping hands in the first few months are critial to your sanity. :p
I don’t think you should quit school. It’s hard but it can be done..it will be well worth it in the long run for you to finish schooling you’ve worked so hard for.